so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
