How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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