I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
