Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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