Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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