One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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