But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
