What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
