You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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