If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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