M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize