i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Still dying that you shit outside
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
