My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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