You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
handjob tips. give me some.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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