so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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