you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
