I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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