There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
