I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
