Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize