Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You have to summon your inner elephant
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
