angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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