I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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