trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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