are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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