The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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