i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
