Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hello my rib-scented angel!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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