Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
