I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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