any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
