He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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