Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
