remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
