he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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