I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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