I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.