I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
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There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
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God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....