Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing

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(850): View more from Florida

At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My cha cha got a haircut

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(253): View more from Washington

The pine trees are waving at me.

(907): View more from Alaska

Put the pipe down honey.

(253): View more from Washington

Hi trees.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.

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