yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
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my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
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I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him