You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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