Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
