i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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