i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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