I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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