I bet he comes in French.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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