I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
