Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize