By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
