I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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