I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
