i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
