She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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