I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
