Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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