My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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