Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
