1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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