this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
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If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
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We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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