I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
