he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
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At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
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Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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